She Keeps Overstepping Boundaries, Telling Her Autistic Stepson “You Don’t Have Autism” So His Mom Decided to Teach Her a Lesson

A divorced mother recently told her ex-husband’s new wife to stop interfering in their autistic son’s care after she repeatedly questioned her parental decisions. Here’s what the normally placid woman had to say.

Their Son Has Health Issues

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The mother of two shared joint legal and physical custody of her sons with her ex-husband. Their younger son, a nine-year-old, has a complex array of health challengesADHD, autism, and PTSD.  

She elaborated, “Obviously, there’s a fair bit of psychiatric, therapy, and doctor appointments involved, as well as school IEP meetings, etc.”

The Stepmother Interfered

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Despite their divorce, the children were fortunate to have a loving and generally nice stepmother in their lives. However, from the mom’s perspective, the stepmother had two major flaws.

Firstly, she chronically overstepped her boundaries, often speaking out of turn and overshadowing the boys’ parents. Secondly, she put too much faith in her amateur Google search knowledge, challenging the autism diagnosis and decisions regarding medications, parenting, and school.

They Discussed It

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Fed up with the continual interference and boundary-crossing, the mother attempted to communicate her grievances to her ex-husband on several occasions.

Despite this, nothing changed, and the mom’s patience began to wear thin when the stepmother overstepped time and time again. 

The Stepmother Was Critical

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During a recent psychiatry med check for her son, his stepmother blamed the mom and the school for his behavioral issues. She criticized the psychiatrist’s decision to increase his medication and advocated for the removal of his sleep aid.

She’d Had Enough

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Quoting The Lord of the Rings, the biological mom confessed, “I finally completely lost it and said, ‘You have no power here’ in my best possessed Theoden voice.”

She then reminded the stepmother that her role was legally limited. 

It Was Out Of Character

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The new wife wasn’t listed in the custody arrangement, nor would she ever hold the same parental authority as the biological parents. The mom added that their roles as parents did not dissolve with their marriage.

Her usually laid-back demeanor made the outburst a shocking event, leaving the room in stunned silence. Although she was direct and stern, she didn’t yell or use profanity.

The Doctor Chastised Her

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The psychiatrist later privately expressed that, while the stepmother had crossed a line, the mother’s response was just as inappropriate. 

The professional reminded her that step-parents, too, are parents, despite the mother’s insistence that the stepmother had no legal right to be present at these meetings.

The Stepmom Wasn’t Knowledgeable

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The woman, however, believed the stepmom’s influence was starting to become harmful and said, “She told my son he’s not really autistic because she doesn’t believe he is. She’s not in healthcare professionally. She literally works at a campground.”

Meanwhile, the mother is certified in dementia care and has extensive experience working with individuals with intellectual and developmental difficulties in group homes. 

Was She Out Of Line?

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While the mom didn’t possess doctor-level expertise, she knew her son and his needs. This left her feeling frustrated. Although it felt good to finally speak her mind, she wondered if she was too candid.

She decided to share her story and ask the internet a question. She inquired, “Am I the bad guy for drawing a distinction between a step-parent and an involved, loving biological parent?”

The Online Community Responded

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One user replied, “I would bar her from all appointments. She’s trying to make decisions based on misinformation that is harming your child.”

Another agreed, “You need a new psychiatrist. You might need a custody modification because his stepmom is a threat to your child’s mental health, the kind of threat judges are getting better at recognizing.”

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