His Wife Insisted On Caring For Their Baby And Toddler Instead Of Sending Them To Day-care But When She Became Overwhelmed, He Refused To Help

A father of two recently had an intense argument with his wife because he did not assist her when she struggled with their kids. According to him, he had suggested a more helpful option earlier, but she refused. Here’s what happened.

Navigating Parenthood

Criticising Each Other’s Mothering Experiences
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The man and his wife had a two-year-old and a five-month-old. He worked from home during regular hours, typically from 9 to 5, and occasionally went into the office. Meanwhile, his wife was on maternity leave and cared for their infant.

Sharing Responsibilities

How Much Attention Fathers Get With Babies
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Although his wife handled most of the parenting responsibilities, the man contributed by caring for the baby during the night. He says, “I take care of the baby for overnight wakings and feedings.” Additionally, their two-year-old attended daycare.

A Set Routine and Many Challenges

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The couple established a routine that worked well at first. However, it soon became complicated. His wife preferred picking up their toddler from daycare early in the afternoon instead of letting him handle it after he finished work. This arrangement caused some issues.

Everyone Was Stressed

Lack of Emotional Investment
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The man found himself watching the baby for 45 minutes while his wife was away, But then, for an hour, his wife took care of both children. During this time, she became stressed and annoyed. He said,” Every day, my wife tells me that she is exhausted, she has no time to herself, she doesn’t get things done that she needs to, and she’s overwhelmed.” 

Proposed Change and Concerns

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Recently, his wife expressed a sudden desire to keep their toddler at home during the day. The man voiced his concerns, explaining that she would likely find it challenging to handle both the baby and the toddler simultaneously. Given her stress and overwhelm, he suggested the decision would negatively affect everyone.

Juggling Work and Family

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The man also emphasized that he couldn’t take the day off if any issues came up; she would have to care for both children alone. His wife insisted it was fine and expressed wanting to spend more time with their toddler. They reached an agreement, with the man reminding her he wouldn’t be able to assist. He said, “Fine, no problem. If she wants to do this, it is up to her. I reiterated that I would not be around to help.”

Challenging Moments

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On the agreed-upon day, the man woke up at 4 a.m. to feed the baby and prepare both children for the day. He made breakfast for everyone before starting work. Shortly after he began, he heard his wife attempting to convince their toddler to go to another room for the baby’s nap. However, the toddler resisted and started crying.

Staying Focused on Work

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Despite hearing his wife’s growing frustration, the man remained focused on his job. He overheard her moving back and forth between rooms, becoming increasingly annoyed. 

She Became Upset

Treat Women Well No Matter How They Treat You
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Eventually, his wife managed to settle the toddler by 9:45 a.m. Then, she entered his office and asked, “Did you not hear me struggling? Why didn’t you come and help?”. Feeling frustrated, the man could only remind her that he had already said he would be busy and that it was best they used the daycare service.

Was He Wrong To Not Help?

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The man wondered if he was wrong for sticking to his word and telling his wife, “I told you so.” So, he asked the internet if his wife should have let him take their toddler to daycare so she wouldn’t get overwhelmed.

The Online Community Responded

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One user said, “OP may need to return to the office. The wife seems to lack understanding and respect for work time. It is not a peaceful environment to work in, especially with the wife coming in to complain or request help.”

Another commenter replied, “Not the AH. Working from home is a job and a privilege, allowing you to provide for your family and pay for daycare. It should preclude ‘helping,’ unless it’s something you can manage during your lunch break.”

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