Her Partner’s Daughter Called Her “Mom” Because She’d Raised Her Since She Was a Baby, But When Her Real Mom Returned 13 Years Later, Things Got Complicated

A woman recently wrote to an online forum to explain a tricky family situation. She’d helped raise her partner’s child since she was one, but things are awkward now that the biological mother is back in the picture. Here’s what she had to say.

New family

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The woman wrote, “I have been with Eric for almost 12 years. When I met him, he had a daughter, Lisa, who was three and is now 14. Her mom, Mary, left when she was only a year old.”

Strong bond

Are You Attached To Your Children
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“I helped Eric raise Lisa, and when she was about seven years old, she started calling me Mom,” she added. “We had a conversation about it with Eric, and we agreed to explain to her that I was not her real mom but that it didn’t have to stop her from calling me that. She understood and kept calling me Mom.”

Mary returns

Compliments Keep Coming
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Mary reached out after 13 years away. She asked Eric if she could come back into Lisa’s life. Eric was cautious, so he said they should take things slow. Mary could visit at the weekend, and Eric and the woman would supervise.

Good relations

teenager
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Things went well. After some time, Eric agreed to let Lisa spend weekends with Mary. Soon, they sat Lisa down and told her that Mary was her real mom. Lisa took it well and was even happy.

Strange text

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One Sunday, Mary dropped Lisa at the house. She texted the woman, asking her to tell Lisa to stop calling the woman mom. Mary wanted Lisa to call her mom and felt that this was blocking that process.

Fair reply

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The woman texted Mary and told her that she didn’t have control over what Lisa called her. She reminded Mary that she had only recently returned to her daughter’s life and that she should give Lisa time to adjust.

Roadblock

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Mary snapped back and accused the woman of obstructing the bond between her and Lisa. The woman kept her calm and left it at that.

Not taking sides

Talking Fast
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The woman spoke to Eric. He said he understood both sides of the argument and reasoned that it was difficult for Mary to see Lisa call another woman her mother. She also spoke to her own mom, who advised her to step back for a bit.

Difficult decision

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The woman is torn. She and Lisa do have a mother-daughter bond after all their years together. She doesn’t want Lisa to have to stop calling her mom. However, she recognizes it’s a difficult situation.

Lisa’s opinion

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She explained the situation to Lisa. However, Lisa couldn’t understand what the fuss was all about and told the woman she’d never stop calling her mom, no matter who asked.

Was she in the right?

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The woman didn’t want to dictate to Lisa what she could and couldn’t call her. However, she understood that it was a difficult situation. She wrote to an online forum to ask for advice.

The internet responded

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One poster said, “This is not a decision for anyone to make except for Lisa.”

While another commenter replied, “Seriously, ‘you’re preventing us from forming a proper mother-daughter bond’? No, lady, you did that yourself when you abandoned your baby.”

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