This lady wondered if she was wrong for not moving in with her family, despite her mother’s illness. She had been under her family’s control for a long time and she wanted her freedom. Here’s what she had to say.
Her Strict Upbringing
The 24-year-old woman lived with her parents and older sister. Their mother was very strict. “I use to not be able to leave the house unless it was school or after-school activities. When college rolled around, I decided to move out to explore my own freedom, she said.
Her Mother’s Health Issues
She could only go out for school or activities, not for socializing. This limited her chances to hang out with friends. When she was 22, her mother got sick. The Doctors found a tumor in her brain and she needed surgery, chemo, and radiation.
She Moved Back Home
To take care of her sick mother, she moved back home during the Covid pandemic. Also, the woman couldn’t leave her house because of the risk to her mom’s health.
The Strict Rules Continued
Two years later, even when her mother got better, her mother continued with her strict rules. She was only allowed out until 9 pm and her family bothered her if she left. “Oftentimes, whenever I go somewhere, I would thousands of calls from my sister, mom, and dad telling me to come home,” she said.
The Guilt Trips
Her sister would tell her that their mom would get headaches and small seizures if she didn’t come home. If she decided to leave the house, they would tell her she wasn’t a good sister/daughter.
She thought these rules only applied to whenever she hung out with her friends. But lately, she had been going to her cousin’s house and her sister said she could only leave the house once a week. Even though she did her chores and got groceries or gave her mother medicine, they still controlled her.
Her Mother Got Sick Again
Her mother finished her second round of chemo, but her family still used her leaving against her. They said she wasn’t putting her family first and was choosing others over her mother.
She Felt Trapped
At this point, she felt like a child with no control over her life. Her family wanted her to move with them to a new house, but she didn’t want to.
Was She Wrong in Refusing to Move In?
They told her that they wouldn’t move without her, but she still refused. She tried to offer them money to help them move, but they wanted her to go with them.
One user replied, “Your mom is using her illness to trap you. Get out. This living situation isn’t healthy for anyone.”
Another user said, “You are 24 and are very much in the FOG. Fear, Obligation, Guilt. You aren’t seeing how much control they have over you because it’s gone on so long.”
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