A man recently wondered if he was wrong for starting a family argument after his brother expected him to share a twin room with his married nephew. He felt he was disrespected and here’s what the man had to say.
His Frequent Visits to His Mom
The 50-year-old unmarried man often visited his mother in Pittsburgh. He lived about three hours away from her and would stay for one night because of the distance. “Normally, I drive there on Saturday morning, stay the night, and leave after an Easter Sunday brunch,” he said.
The Easter Family Visit
For Easter, his brother and two grown sons who resided in Atlanta were also visiting their mother. This was a big event because they all had to travel, even by plane.
The House Arrangements
Their mother’s house had four bedrooms: two with queen beds, one with twin beds, and a basement with a couch and air mattress. There was also a finished basement with only a non-pull-out couch and an air mattress. Usually, he slept in one of the queen beds in the guest room.
His Brother’s Call
Now, his brother called him and said, “My older son is married, so he and his wife will take the room you usually sleep in. You can share the twin room with my other son. I’ll be in the other queen room with my wife.”
He Wasn’t Happy About It
He didn’t like this plan and so he expressed his thoughts saying, “I am fifty years old. I’ve always slept in the same queen bed for years. Your son got married last year, and now it’s suddenly changed because they’re married and I’m single? In the past, your kids used the twin beds.”
He Felt Unfairly Treated
He felt like being single always made him the one to sleep on couches or air mattresses. He thought not being in a relationship put him in a lower position.
His Discomfort with Sharing
He didn’t want to share a room with his adult nephew. His snoring and sensitivity to the noise made sharing difficult. He had been used to sleeping alone for the past thirty years.
He Demanded Respect
He wanted to be treated with respect. He didn’t want to be treated like a young kid anymore. He suggested his nephew and wife take the twin beds, and the younger son could use the air mattress in the basement.
Was He Wrong?
He wasn’t sure if he was being unreasonable. Although he could see both perspectives, he believed that his age and status shouldn’t be disregarded just because he was unmarried.
One person posted, “If it’s only one night, I’d give the couple the queen bed and take the twin room—but ONLY if I got the twin room to myself, the other nephew can still take the basement.”
Another suggested, “The best way to avoid arguing with the brother is not to play their game. Don’t argue about it, and don’t try to be reasonable. Just say ‘No.’ Call the person whose house it is, and make plans with them.”
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