A man recently wondered if he was wrong for refusing to buy food for a close female friend who had been staying at his apartment rent-free. He had assumed her stay would be temporary but she wasn’t going anywhere. He’s what he had to say:
An Old High School Friend
One time, when this man was in high school, he had a friend named Madison. She was popular among students, and they were good friends. The man knew that Madison was out of his league, even though he wasn’t a very “nice guy.”
They Were Just Friends, No Romance
They were just friends and not in a romantic relationship. When he went to university, he still stayed friends with Madison. He was happy for her when she got married.
Now the man worked in a tech company that had its perks. “My company provides some really cool stuff for their employees. Our cafeteria is free and open 24 hours a day. We can eat all our meals there if we want. They have a nutritionist that makes sure the meals are tasty and healthy,” he explained.
His Eating Habits
Now, he regularly took advantage of the free cafeteria food, but would also have food at his apartment. He also had Froot Loops at home, which the cafeteria didn’t have.
Troubles in Madison’s Marriage
Unfortunately, Madison separated from her husband and asked him if she could stay with him for a while. He had an extra room in his apartment, so he agreed because they were good friends.
He Thought It Was Temporary
At first, he believed Madison’s stay was going to be short. He thought it was going to be a couple of weeks and then she would go stay with her family or fix things with her husband. But she had been at his home most of the time, except when she went to work.
His Food Was Disappearing
“She ate all my food in the fridge and pantry. I went grocery shopping once so far but she ate everything again and didn’t offer to pay to replace it,” he said. He got tired and asked her when she planned to leave, but she didn’t know. He further asked for money to buy groceries, but she said she hadn’t been paid yet.
He Changed His Eating Habits
Because Madison was using up his food, he started eating meals at work or at a restaurant. Madison asked him when he would go grocery shopping, but he said he was too busy with work. She offered to go shopping for both of them if he gave her money, but he said he was too busy to cook at home.
Was He Wrong For Not Wanting to Buy Food for Her?
She got upset and accused him of using food to control her and being unwilling to help her because he was cheap. She even thought he wanted a romantic relationship with her because he wasn’t charging her rent. But he now realized that Madison had changed in some ways he didn’t know before.
One person said, “I know this is not (a piece of) advice, but you need to get her out of your house.”
Another said, “This has the potential to go sideways really badly. Maybe I’m just a pessimist, but it sounds like she thinks you are a better meal ticket, both figuratively and literally than her husband.”
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