A woman recently asked for advice about how to deal with her entitled sister. Her sister demanded details about the woman’s dating life, but was the woman wrong to keep her lips sealed? Here’s what the woman had to say:
The Woman Kept Herself To Herself
“I am a 20-year-old female. I’m pretty reserved and don’t tell my family about stuff that is too personal to me. For example, I went through a rough battle mentally and never told them anything,” the woman explained. But things were looking up for her.
Cupid’s Arrow Struck The Woman
The woman explained that her recent dating experiences had been very positive. Her happiness about this development was clear to her sister, who pressed her for information. But the woman wasn’t about to kiss and tell.
She Had Her Friends To Talk To
“I tell my friends about my love life very freely and without feeling uncomfortable, but when it comes to sharing this information with my sister/family, I just feel so uncomfortable, and I don’t want to tell them anything at all!”
The Woman Was Worried That Her Sister Would Judge Her
The woman was reluctant to share the spicy details with her sister because she felt that her sister would criticize her. She felt very awkward about discussing her romantic conquests with her own flesh and blood. But her sister wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
The Woman’s Sister Challenged Her
The woman’s sister shouted at her. She was offended at not being told what was going on in her sister’s life. They were family, and she wanted to play the role of big sister to her younger sibling. When her sister stayed silent, she wondered how strong their relationship really was.
The Woman’s Sister Thought She Was Pretentious
Because she was two years older than the woman, the sister considered herself more mature than her younger sibling. But she also thought that the woman was pretentious. She should let her older, wiser sister help her out.
The Woman Held Her Ground
The woman had made her position clear. Her relationships with her sister and her friends were different, and only certain people got to hear such privileged information. Couldn’t her sister accept that the conversation was making her uncomfortable?
Sister Turned Against Sister
The woman’s sister grew furious with her. She felt deeply offended that the woman would keep things from her. She was only trying to help, and the woman was repaying her with rudeness.
Anger Turned To Silence
The sister’s rage continued even after their initial shouting match was over. In fact, it took a more nefarious form: the silent treatment. Whenever the woman tried to interact with her sister, the older woman ignored her.
The Woman Began To Feel Guilty
The woman knew that she had hurt her sister’s feelings. The woman started to feel as though she had done something wrong by withholding the information. After all, what were sisters for? They were supposed to share each other’s deepest secrets—weren’t they?
Was She Right To Keep Quiet?
Although the woman acknowledged that her sister was acting out, she also wondered if she could have handled the dispute better. Maybe she did owe her sister her confidence. But they both had different concepts of what sorority involved, and the woman didn’t want to be forced to share things.
One person supported the woman’s decision to stay silent: “You choose what you are comfortable sharing and with whom. You’ve known her your whole life, so you probably already know she isn’t going to offer you any valuable advice. If you think she’s just going to judge, gossip, or belittle you, you’ve made the right choice to keep it to yourself.”
Another person took the same stance. They said, “It’s your life, and having boundaries and a sense of privacy are normal and healthy. Confidence is earned; it doesn’t sound like your sister has earned it.”
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