A Struggling Mother Asked Her Wealthy Daughter for Help Paying Her Younger Siblings’ College Tuition, and She Couldn’t Believe Her Daughter’s Outrageous Reaction

A 50-year-old mother found herself in hot water when she asked her adult daughter for help paying college tuition for her other children. The daughter felt this was out of line, but the mother didn’t see anything wrong with the request. This is what she had to say.

Troubled childhoods

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The mother has three children: a 30-year-old daughter, a 17-year-old son, and a 16-year-old daughter. She admitted that her children didn’t have the perfect upbringing. “My oldest has a different father from the other two,” she said, “and was obviously fairly grown once her siblings were born.”

She needed her daughter’s help

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Without help from either father, the mother relied on her eldest daughter for help raising the younger children. “I will admit that, during her teen years, my oldest took on a lot of babysitting duties in the house,” the mother explained. “I worked during the afternoons and evenings, so she would pick the babies up from daycare and watch them until I got home at night.” This arrangement had its consequences.

Growing up fast

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A child taking on parental duties understandably caused emotional damage. “This unfortunately has led to my daughter and I having somewhat of a strained relationship as she’s become an adult,” said the mother. “She has told me that I used her as a second parent and that it caused her a lot of stress and stunted her social life during adolescence.”

She was doing her best

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Ultimately, the mother felt she was making the best of a bad situation. “I know that I made mistakes as a mother during that time,” she said. “We were struggling financially…but I shouldn’t have taken advantage of her like that.” In time, they mended their relationship. But then things changed.

Her daughter became successful

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Despite her tumultuous upbringing, the eldest daughter went on to be financially successful after college. It was especially impressive since the mother hadn’t gone to college herself. “I’m incredibly proud of her and everything she’s achieved,” she added.

Another request for help

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The mother asked her daughter for more help, but not in raising children. This time, her help would be financial instead. She wanted her daughter’s help paying for her younger siblings’ college education.

Her heart was in the right place

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The mother stressed her request didn’t come from a place of greed, saying she simply wouldn’t be able to pay for their tuition without help. “They’ll have to take out heavy student loans,” she said, and she wanted to help them avoid student debt.

Her daughter refused

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The request did not go over well. “My daughter became very upset with me,” said the mother. “She said that it was entirely inappropriate for me to ask.” It was more than inappropriate, though, as it opened old wounds.

She felt like a surrogate parent

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The woman’s daughter was most upset because she felt used all over again. “She said that my asking her for this has shown her that I’ve never learned from my parenting mistakes when she was a teenager,” the woman said. “But I really don’t think it’s the same thing.”

She asked the Internet

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The woman understood her daughter’s refusal. But the mother still felt it was a reasonable request considering how wealthy her daughter had become. Ultimately, the mother asked the Internet for their thoughts.

The Internet answered

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Overwhelmingly, commenters said that the mother was in the wrong. “She’s right,” read one comment. “You asking was extremely inappropriate.” Another said, “Those are your children, not hers. Leave your oldest daughter alone and be glad that she even communicates with you.”

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