A man recently asked for advice about a situation involving his ex-wife. They had divorced a decade ago, but was the man right to conceal his his new partner’s pregnancy from his first love? Here’s what he had to say:
The Man Had A Rocky First Marriage
“My ex-wife Carly (39F) and I (40M) got divorced 10 years ago. We had been married for 4 years, together for a total of 9 years. About 2 years into our marriage, we started to trying to have a baby, but no luck. We went to fertility doctors after the first year of trying and the doctor said there wasn’t anything wrong with either of us.”
His Ex-Wife Was Trouble
While trying for a child, the man learned that his wife was had been cheating on him with a colleague. She claimed that the stress of trying to conceive had driven her to have an affair. The man was sickened by her behavior. There was only one option.
The Man Moved On
The man realized that he had to divorce his traitorious wife. He moved to a new city and eventually met someone new, a woman called Mary. She was overjoyed when he proposed to her, and they were looking forward to making a life together.
The Man’s Fiancee Got Pregnant
“I don’t use social media much, but Mary does quite a bit. She posted photos of her bump and the sonogram on her Instagram and Facebook,” the man explained. But he had no idea of the consequences of his fiancee’s actions.
His Ex-Wife Found Out
Somehow, the man’s ex-wife learned about his new relationship and that his fiancee was pregnant. He assumed that someone in his home town had told her. Whatever the case, she clearly felt that she needed to get in touch with her ex-huband.
The Man’s Ex-Wife Called Him
The man was surprised when a call from a number that he didn’t recognize turned out to be his ex-wife. Although their conversation was initially polite, the man’s ex-wife soon showed her true colors.
The Man’s Ex-Wife Demanded Information
The conversation turned ugly. The man’s ex-wife wanted to know why she hadn’t told him about his fiancee’s pregnancy. Why had she had to learn about it indirectly? But the man wasn’t about to concede defeat.
The Man Held His Ground
The man didn’t see why his new relationship concerned his ex. She had nothing to do with his new life, and he didn’t owe her anything. His refusal to spill the beans caused his ex-wife to hang up.
The Man Asked His Friends For Advice
The man consulted a mutual friend about the situation. His friend told the man that he should have told his ex-wife about the pregnancy. After all, the stress of trying for a baby had been a big part of their relationship. But the man wasn’t sure.
Was He Wrong?
While the man could understand what his friend had said, he still didn’t think it was his responsibility to contact his ex. It wasn’t as though they lived near one another, and it had been ten years since their marriage had ended in catastrophe. Couldn’t he just move on?
People Made Themselves Heard
Oner person couldn’t understand the ex-wife’s behavior: “So lemme get this straight. She’s your ex-wife, she cheated on you, you divorced, you don’t want to talk to her anymore and you had no news from her. And you’re supposed to tell her that your fiancee is pregnant?”
Another person said, “It’s been 10 years. If my ex-husband called me ten years after our divorce to tell me he had a child with someone else when we couldn’t I would assume it was both malicious and creepy. Why would I care what my ex-husband is doing after 10 years?”
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